Overcoming Spiritual Malaise

The Spanish mystic and Catholic poet St. John of the Cross describes overcoming spiritual malaise in his poem “The Dark Night of the Soul” (Spanish: “La noche oscura del alma”). He opens the poem, “One dark night, fired with love’s urgent longings—ah, the sheer grace!—I went out unseen, my house being now stilled.” For John of the Cross, there’s a stage of passive purification in which the soul is stripped of normal supports and experiences confusion, helplessness, stagnation of the will, and a sense of God’s withdrawal. This stage ends with union with God. When we experience this union with God, he describes finding a “radiant dawn.” The dark night goes full circle and ends in the light of a new day.

What John of the Cross calls “radiant dawn,” I would call transformation in Christ. Either way, it’s drinking the living water and finding oneself with the desire to return to the well for more. Yet, for a variety of reasons, many people who have seen the “radiant dawn” or drunk the living water can still experience God’s distance.

This vague feeling of spiritual discomfort or dissonance can leave prayers feeling empty. Worship becomes uninteresting. Volunteering at church starts to feel like an obligation. The Bible then appears wooden, detached, and uninspiring. Left unchecked, spiritual malaise can lead to drifting farther and farther away from being part of the church family. Eventually, being part of church is just a memory from a hazy past.

Overcoming a spiritual malaise requires intentionality. No one can make someone else get excited about Jesus. First, try to recognize when it’s happening. Acknowledge it. Then, let go of the past. This is a great point to explore God’s grace. God forgives you, but you also have to forgive yourself and let go of where you’ve been. Journaling, talking about your experience, and being honest are part of the solution.

Next, seek nourishment. I cannot prescribe an antidote for you because what feeds your soul is as unique as you are. It might mean singing a favorite hymn, trying something new (e.g. have you tried Jazz Vespers?), reading scripture, picking up a tattered copy of Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis or some other classic, or something else. Prayer is also an essential ingredient to overcoming spiritual depression. Tell God about it. Be honest.

John of the Cross writes, “O guiding night! O night more lovely than the dawn! O night that has united the Lover with his beloved, transforming the beloved in her Lover.” The night won’t last forever. Have faith. Keep walking in the light. And trust that God is with you every step of the way.